It’s Sunday afternoon in my little corner of the world. It is for me traditionally a moment in my week in which I am filled with an overwhelming sense of frustration to the point of tears. For it is the point at which I have to put down whatever fun things I have been playing with on the weekend and begin to get ready for the week ahead. And it always seems to coincide with a moment in which I am filled with the urge to create, and also the realization that the list of incredible things that I was going to get through this weekend are not going to happen. Now wise heads would probably indicate that I should manage my time better, something I fully recognize but as yet have not been able to implement a plan for this to occur. Perhaps 2015 shall be the year in which I figure out how to achieve this.
For the moment I just wanted to use this window into my emotional state as a jumping off point to talk about how this Sunday I am actually feeling pretty chilled even though it is actually the end of not just a weekend but also my Christmas/New Years break. And it is not because I did all the things on my list or anything like that, it’s just…. I am really not sure what it is, it just is.
Some of the reason I am chilled out might be that I have been reflecting on 2014 and what I wanted to say about it. And mostly I have come back with positive things. I did not achieve all of the things that I would have liked to and some things that started out strong, like my youtube channel and my plans for this blog, fell by the wayside throughout the year. However, when I pulled out my New Years Goals/Resolutions for 2014 and made notes on what I achieved there were a lot of green yesses, a lot of orange sort-ofs and not nearly as much red No’s as I had expected (Yes I color coded my responses – it is pretty and helpful and you should try it sometime). And when I wrote down some of the other things I achieved but hadn’t included in my list (Completing Nanowrimo, first fanfic, my accidental side trip to the UK) it made 2014 a pretty incredible year really.
The less tangible things that made 2014 a good year are that with every year I am so much more comfortable in my own skin, not to say I am always happy with every aspect, but I just like feeling at home with who I am, mistakes and all. And I like being able to step more boldly into new experiences, good and bad, because of this.
And I am so grateful for so many things in my life right now. 2014 had a few brand new experiences that can be filed under the crappy/horrid/scary/wtf pile and rather than drag me down they just gave me a new level of appreciation of how lucky I am. I am lucky for the people in my life, those who have been around forever and those who just came into my life, I am lucky for the experiences I gained (travel, culture, emotional, physical) and I am grateful to be me, right here, right now.
So thanks 2014! You were pretty awesome. And to everyone (though most of that everyone will never read this blog) who was in my 2014. Thanks!